Begin Anew

I think I mentioned it at the meeting (It was a bit of a blur for me. If you didn’t already notice, I am not too enthusiastic about public speaking at the best of times), but consistency has been an issue for me the last while. I could give some excuses as to why, but I don’t think it would be productive. I would end up trying to deceive myself into believing I was actually on track, and somehow justify my mediocrity. After some reflection I don’t think the heart of the problem is my inconsistency at all. I will always have inconsistency. Whether it comes from me, the people around me, or from uncontrollable circumstances, it will always be there. That just life. I believe the heart of the problem is that I am often reluctant to “begin anew” as Sifu Brinker sometimes says. I can get so wrapped up in what I haven’t been doing that I forget what I can be doing right now. As I focus on the past, the hole I’ve dug gets deeper. I find it becomes very easy to become upset with yourself, which is isn’t productive or pleasurable. 

I been doing a some guided meditation recently and one of the concepts they talk about I find very powerful. Throughout the mediation you are meant to concentrate on your breath. Of course at some point the mind enviably wanders to other things. When you take notice, you acknowledge it, and gently take your focus back to the breath. You don’t get upset at your mind for wandering off. You simply acknowledge that it happened, and go back to the breath. This concept can apply to my problems with inconsistency. When I notice that I have begun to slip, I should just acknowledge it, and go back my training with no disappointment in myself. Start with a clean slate. Every day, begin anew. I think this is the key for my success in the future.

Kobe Csillag