Evolution and Adjustment

The ebb and flow of my life over the past months has required certain priorities to take centre stage. As a result my ability to complete team and personal requirements have been all over the place. Some days are good, other days not so good. I think back to those first few months and there is a part of me that misses the apparent simplicity of what I was able to accomplish. Nothing ever stays the same though. 

Each time I find my groove, the boat gets rocked or I just don't have the mental or physical energy to stay on course and I find myself unable to sustain that groove. There is a lesson here and so I have to ask myself why and reflect deeper. 

I am learning to be more flexible with my routine and discovering it doesn't need to be an all or nothing state of mind or being. I've created a good solid base to build on. I need to trust that foundation and myself. Rather than tossing away some of my well established routines, I can make adjustments to the routine or replace it with something just as valuable. Where am I, what am I doing, why, and what will serve me? These are the questions I ask myself.

I've discovered it is ok to replace all or a portion of my physio exercises with yoga some days, providing its own value. And most Monday and Wednesdays I spend extra time at the Kwoon attending and helping out where I can at the Level 1 Teen/Adult class. I could spend the extra hours at home working on IHC requirements and adding to my numbers, but for me there is currently more value in the extra class time and learning how to help other students. Often there isn't enough time to do it all and so I consider my priorities and look at options when applicable.

I am evolving as a person and as a martial artist and as a result it makes sense that my routine and the actions that I take each day need to evolve as well. I do what I can and am getting to a place where I mostly don't feel guilty when it comes to what isn't getting done. Instead I try to keep in front of me each days successes and am learning to live more in the present. There is value in everything I do and don't do. The not doing can have value when it is mindful and filled with its' own value. 

Initially I saw the IHC requirements as boxes to check off. Tasks to complete. It took a bit of time to understand and experience the underlying value the requirements hold. Each year that I am on the team I've gained more insight into how the requirements serve me. Take push ups for example. I could concentrate solely on numbers completed or I can be mindful of my technique, my breathing, engaging my core and listening to my body.

The requirements are tools. And these tools can have infinite value depending on the user. We are only limited by our imagination, our level of awareness or mindfulness and our efforts. I'm human, my efforts aren't always pure and there are times when numbers are my priority, but I know the requirements aren't just boxes to check. I see them as valuable tools and accomplishments. Each of the requirements have a total number attached as well. That number is also a tool, not a box to check. Less, more, or just enough? What is the correct number? This will depend on internal and external priorities, effort put forth and will be different for each of us.

As I continue to evolve I am finding that this valuable set of tools the IHC team has been given are now  needing some adjustments themselves. I am requiring and acquiring additional tools to help me move forward and take me further in my journey. I don't throw away the original tools, as they are still hold value and purpose. I just view them slightly different and am more aware of what is in my best interest at any given time.  I am discovering how to take what I need, when I need and where to push myself.

Michele Ward