Mediocrity

The urge to settle for the more comfortable option, aka mediocrity, has been pulling me down this past month. I am dealing with an enormous amount of stress right now due to an evolving situation with my dad's health and his living situation. Woven into all this is a very difficult family dynamic involving my 2 brothers. The whole situation unfortunately will most likely get worse before it is resolved. Extra time, effort and energy are all needed almost continuously. This evolving situation is causing me to be reactive at times while also looking for ways to be more proactive to help avoid potential future issues.

I have reminded myself that I will never be given more than I can handle. One day at a time, one moment at a time. Breathe, plan, adjust and ask for help.

I have visited mediocrity many times over the years. The comfortable option pulls even more when overall health is not being taken care of as stress increases. As stress builds and affects my mental health, my capacity for continuing the climb upward diminishes and motivation falters causing a ripple effect in other aspects of my daily routines. Mediocrity slowly starts to wheedle its way in. I am tired, both mentally and physically. It's like a dreary day drawing me inward. And as things compound my emotional state suffers and I find myself wanting to hide in my bubble.

I am noticing that pull towards mediocrity quicker now. Instead of making that downward slide and landing completely off the path, I am finding those all important tools that I have accumulated over my years of Kung Fu training are helping more and more. Important daily routines and consistency have been building and my base is becoming more solid and getting stronger. This is something that I need to remind myself of daily. Gratitude for all that I am, all that I have and all that I am becoming. A reminder of my successes so that I am not pulled down even further by what I am not getting done.

When I am actively pursuing mastery, everything falls into place and supports my journey towards mastery. I make healthier eating choices, I am more engaged and active. And as a result I feel that I can do almost anything. I am pumped! I see the possibilities and the potential. Mediocrity is not a place I want to be and yet it can still provide valuable lessons and insights.

Time to regroup and address some poor eating habits and build on some existing good dietary habits. Starting May 2nd I will be starting a 21 day detox program. The goal is to detox, learn which foods work best for my body and which don't, develop meal prep strategies and make healthy eating the norm. In addition I will practise filling myself up with gratitude each day and seek support from friends, family and other supportive agencies. One step at a time. This is something I will need to keep reminding myself of daily.

Michele Ward