Spoons and Forks
This week has been a heavy one for me. My Dad is still in the hospital. Work has been insane. Frankie is had her birthday party on Saturday and then starts kindergarten this week. I was really looking forward to throwing myself into work at the Kwoon, but my preparations were slightly thwarted. My phone died. My truck died.
Everything's going to be ok, but I am running on very few spoons. And when I made that comment at the potato bake earlier nobody knew what I was talking about, so here I present to you:
Spoon Theory!
Spoon theory was originally coined by blogger Christine Miserandino, to describe what it's like living with lupus. (you can view a pdf of her original post here: https://cdn.totalcomputersusa.com/butyoudontlooksick.com/uploads/2010/02/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf). It has since been adopted by the chronically ill and neurodivergent communities, and I think it's great because pretty much everyone can relate to it in some form.
Basically, you start every day with a certain number of spoons. The number of spoons you have can depend on various factors (how much sleep you got, if you've eaten enough, drank enough water, how much natural pain or fatigue you live with (if dealing with a chronic illness)). Everything you do costs a certain number of spoons. Once you run out of spoons, you can't do any more things.
(If you want to get really nerdy, then you can substitute spell slots, where once you use the slot it cannot be reused until you have a rest)
So, when you've had a long, hard day and you feel like you've got nothing left to give to the world, you are out of spoons.
And as a bonus:
Fork Theory!
Fork theory is kind of the opposite of spoon theory, and works especially well for people with sensory issues.
Have you ever been driving and had to turn down the music so you could "see" better? Forks are the things that are making you uncomfortable, that are distracting from your ability to cope with the world. Pain, loud music, annoying conversations, the lights are too bright, your kids are fighting, the dog is barking, the waistband of your pants is too tight, you keep thinking about the cell phone bill you need to pay, and someone is asking you a complicated math question. All of these things are forks sticking into your psyche.
Your ability to do a certain task may depend on the number of forks sticking into you. If you have an important phone call to make, you may need to stop the kids from fighting, eat something to get your blood sugar level up, and make sure you've answered that important email first.
If you are a "normal" person, with "normal" expectations of life, and have had enough sleep, food, luck, etc, then you have a "reasonable" amount of forks you can tolerate (I use "normal" and "reasonable" in greatly subjective terms, here.) If you have great stressors, depression, illness, or pain, either chronic or acute or both, then your fork tolerance might be much lower.
Sometimes it's easier to take away a big fork, like excusing yourself from a social gathering, or take care of a bunch of small forks, like feeding the cats, watering the plants, and taking out the garbage on garbage day, before you can deal with a task.
I'm sure there are many ways to relate both spoon and fork theory to Kung Fu, but I have only a few spoons left and still need to go grocery shopping, so you guys will have to hash it out yourselves.
Kat Thelwall
