How to Keep Your Children Engaged- Part III

Part III- What To Do When They Don‘t Want To

It’s Inevitable

At some point your child will lose interest. A new sport or club will catch their eye and Kung Fu will lose its shine. I myself went through hockey, jazz, softball, swimming, guitar, singing and soccer before Kung Fu came along. And I can guarantee you that Kung Fu would have joined the list of rejected activities had the decision been mine to make.

I was lucky that my parents recognized the impact Kung Fu was having on my life before I hit the “I want to quit” stage. I wasn’t old enough to weigh the pros and cons, I just know that I wanted to do what all my friends were doing instead- volleyball. I had every reason laid out for my argument; it was too late in the evening, I wasn’t having fun, I wasn’t progressing, I was missing out on time with my friends. It didn’t work. My mom didn’t even entertain the idea, just told me that quitting wasn’t an option. After much whining, bellyaching and arguing, I resigned myself to the idea that I wasn’t quitting. I made it difficult on her, dragged when it was time to leave, grumbled on the way there. And my poor parents had two of us to deal with at this time.

Keep Your Power

This is the most important part of the puzzle. You are the parent. Your job is to prepare your child for adulthood to the best of your ability. Children do not yet have the capacity to gauge the impact of the decisions they make. Do not give your child the power to make this decision.It may be that the best decision for your child is to walk away, but that is your decision to make. Only you can weigh the pros and cons, look forward at the impact of the decision beyond the current situation.  

The moment that you tell your child “when X occurs then you can quit” or “lets finish this month and see how you feel then”, it’s done, they will quit. You gave away your power.

We have never seen a child continue past this point when given control of the decision. No matter how much they enjoy their class or how much benefit they are receiving, there is only one thing on their mind. The day they can quit. At this point, it’s over. 

Keep your power. It is your decision.

Look For A Way

Of course, this does not mean your child does not get a voice. If your child is feeling frustrated or anxious, this needs to be discussed and a solution needs to be found. Talk to your child, let them voice their opinions and their feelings. Make sure they feel heard and understood. Find a way to work through these issues and make things right again. Make a plan together. Talk to your instructors; let us know what we can do and how we can help. Get us involved early, we’re not unfamiliar with these situations. We can take action and may have some insights we can share with you. We’re not here to shut them down. We’re here to build them up.

Set Them Up For Success

We all change. I was a timid, shy girl who would rather not be seen than be seen as weak or uncool. I conformed instead of reformed. I made poor choices because I was scared to say anything. I was an easy target.

Then I began to find my confidence and recognized when I had a choice to make. I grew the strength to choose differently. I began to recognize my impact on others.

I began to form values and opinions. I began to care less about popularity and more about being who I could be and who I wanted to be.

I now value quality over quantity, happiness over bottom lines, life over convenience. I care about what impact I make on others and the world around me. I make the hard choices and do my best to leave this world better than I found it. 

I am strong enough to voice my opinions. I am confident enough to admit my mistakes. 

It was not an easy road. I fought it, I rebelled, I made bad decisions. I still stumble. But I am happy with who I see in the mirror.

And now, I have two of my own at the beginning of their journeys through Kung Fu. I am lucky and grateful that I have had the experiences I’ve had, the opportunities that were given to me by my mother. I can already see what Kung Fu is doing for my children, and I can see the impact that my own training has on theirs. If you ask them what they want to be when they grow up, they’ll give you a different answer each time. Regardless, I know that they are developing the tools they will need no matter the path they choose in life.

How to Keep Your Children Engaged- Part II

Part II- Engage Everyone

Be Involved

As with anything, you won’t see or reap any benefits unless you’re involved. And I don’t mean just your children, you the parent too. Children with parents who are actively involved, who watch classes, encourage their kids and ask questions, those are the students who thrive and who have the ability to work through the hard times. Why? Because they are not alone, they have parents who work equally as hard with and for them because they too see and reap the benefits. 

What Can You Do For Your Child?

Be interested. Children need encouragement and acceptance. If mom or dad seem indifferent to their activities or accomplishments then they learn that there is no value to what they are doing or achieving. This will only decrease their confidence in themselves, not build it up.

Approach their classes with a positive attitude. If classes become a chore or a job then the fun is gone and the resistance will start. Your children need to recognize that Kung Fu is important, but they need to be able to enjoy it.

Set them up for success. Get them to class on time. Help them be responsible for their uniform and gear.  Make sure their environment is congruent to their goals; focus is a key to Kung Fu and to life. Noise and distractions will not allow them to get everything they can out of a given lesson.

Join in! Our kids mimic and learn from us. Participate as a family in our events, or join classes yourself. If they see us having fun they’ll be more inclined to enjoy themselves. A family activity will outlast an individual activity because everyone has a part to play and understands the value. The time spent will be time invested. And you yourself will develop understanding and skills, giving you the ability to help your child and maybe picking up a thing or two to benefit yourself. Our most successful students are most often from a family that is heavily involved.

A Little Goes A Long Way

Any student at Silent River Kung Fu has heard the term incremental progression. Tiny steps, with time, create great change. What you do with your children, no matter how insignificant it seems at the time, has the potential of creating life changing ripples, influencing their perspectives, values and choices. Be sure to create habits and routines with your child that supports your ultimate goal; raising a happy, healthy, self sufficient and confident individual.

So get involved. If you do, you will see and understand the value. If you understand the value, it’s easy to be committed and this will filter down to your child. In other words, half the work is done. 

How To Keep You Children Engaged- Part I

Part I- It’s In Your Perspective

Balance

The fluttering interests of children are a natural part of their curiosity. Children are interested in anything and everything new, exploring their world and gaining experiences that will help them grow into happy, healthy young adults. 

I encourage the curious nature in my own children. I hope they see wonder in everything they come across and continue to explore into their adult years. However, I also have to recognize that my children will not have the ability to extrapolate and foresee the effects of their decisions, for good or bad. Kids truly live in the moment. We adults need to find the balance between letting them and looking out for their futures. 

Keep Your Perspective

Your children will undoubtedly lose interest in their Kung Fu for periods of time. It’ll lose its shine, it’ll become mundane. At this time we will be tempted to let them quit to try a new sport or new activity, hoping to find one that they will want to endure with.

This is when we need to keep our perspectives absolutely clear and in front of ourselves. We need to identify, acknowledge and weigh the benefits your child has experienced because of their Kung Fu. We need to have the ability to foresee the benefits they have yet to gain. And we have to act upon their best interests. 

People often talk about finding a “spark”, something that invokes a passion. The thing is, passion is built, slowly over time. We do not simply find it. We start with an interest, and it builds from there. Kung Fu can be their passion, given it has the opportunity to develop.

What Can Kung Fu Do for Your Child?

For me, this is an easy answer because I’ve experienced it first hand. My number one answer is confidence. They will gain confidence in themselves as a byproduct of developing a healthy self image and self esteem. 

They will learn that they can accomplish their goals, but also that nothing comes for free. The value of their accomplishments will increase because they will know they earned it. 

They will develop a drive to continue to accomplish and to push themselves beyond any limits they may come across. They will reject the idea of “I can’t”. They will reject mediocrity. They will plan and work towards their future.

They will learn discipline. This will help them stay motivated when things get tough. This will help them through high school and into university. This will help them get the job, excel in their field and build a life they can be proud of. 

The will be healthier. Physically, emotionally and mentally. Kung Fu builds physical strength, and mental fortitude. They will become aware of their choices and consciously develop better habits. They will have the ability to manage tough situations.

They will have enough respect for themselves to say no. It could be their best friend or a romantic interest. When the time comes, they will have the confidence to say no when pushed towards something they are uncomfortable with or know to be wrong.

The will have respect for other people and the world around them. They will understand that their decisions affect more than just themselves. They can be the change they want to see in the world.

The Long Term

Of course, these changes occur over time. Many of our lessons are planted as seeds. Seeds take time and nurturance to grow, so not all benefits will be apparent at the beginning. It takes time to develop self respect and self discipline, to change or create habits. And like any practice, you only get to keep the benefits as long as you continue to train and apply yourself.

Lil Leopard Lion Dance Classes

Hello Lil Leopard parents,

As part of our intelligent curriculum, we are focusing on our traditional tenets, the Lion Dance!  The Lion Dance will help introduce our youngest students to the significance of the dance, which is to bring good luck!  We will be learning how to Lion Dance while working towards a performance at our Chinese New Year banquet.

In order for us to prepare for the banquet, your engagement will be key. On November 22 we will be sending home a lion for you and your child to finish decorating and make their own.  Please make sure their name is on the inside!

We ask that starting December 6, that you bring your child’s lion to every class for us to start learning and practicing our lion dance.  Each week, we will post a short video with what we covered in class so that you can practice with your child.

Our Chinese New Year Banquet is on February 10, 2024 and we encourage you to attend with your child.  You and your child (and/or your whole family) will experience amazing Chinese food, lion dance and dragon dance performances (both from children and teen/ adults), performances from our I Ho Chuan team and a Black Belt ceremony where a select few students are promoted to the rank of black.  Tickets will be available soon!

If you have any questions please feel free to reach out to one of your children’s instructors.

Parent's Class Viewing - March 22 and 23, 2023

Hello Silent River Kung Fu Parents!

We are extending an invitation to you all to come in and view your children’s classes on Wednesday, March 22 or Thursday, March 23.

We know that the changes to your access to classes has greatly benefited the kids and instructors alike. There is no denying that the focus and advancement of the kids has grown without the distractions that come with parents inside the Kwoon.

We have several tools for you as the parents to better engage with your childrens’ training. In addition to accessing your child’s class via Zoom, a weekly synopsis of every class is posted (with photos!) so you can keep up with the lessons, plus with a little nudge to help you engage with your children at home in their training.

Our doors are opened to you on a regular basis throughout the year; including next week on Wednesday, March 22nd for the Lil’ Leopards and Thursday, March 23rd for the Tiny Tigers and Young Dragons. This will give you an opportunity to sample what we are doing with your kids in person. No two classes are ever alike, but you will have the chance to see what we are currently working on and how your kids are progressing.

Space is limited so please ensure your timely arrival. We will be asking all parents to exit the building before we end the class to open up the benches for the kids to don their boots and jackets, after which we will be letting them out in the same fashion as we do every class.

You can find all our events, including all other dates for class viewing, on our school event calendar.

See you on the mats!

Parking at Kung Fu Class

There is plenty of parking available in the Kwoon parking lot and on the street in front of our building for every class. If you are parking in our parking lot, it is important that you only park in designated parking stalls - even if you are only picking someone up. These designated stalls are all facing north perpendicular to the street. 

For everyone’s safety and to prevent making it difficult to back out of the designated parking area, there is absolutely NO PARKING along the curb directly against either building - especially in front of the law offices. 

We appreciate everyone’s cooperation in helping us maintain a positive relationship with the other businesses within our condo association while maximizing the safety of everyone who must traverse our parking lot.

Children's Class Turnover Procedure

To further address the safety issue being generated when people improperly park their vehicles in our parking lot, we are going to implement a new method for releasing our younger students from their kung fu class.

Effective immediately we are going to hold the children in the Kwoon until their parent, or designated driver, arrives to escort them safely through the parking lot to their properly parked vehicle. The specifics of this procedure is as follows:

• When our Lil Leopards, Tiny Tigers, or Young Dragons finish their class, they will put on their jackets and footwear and then have a seat on the bench inside. 

• As students are arriving for the next class they will enter the Kwoon through the main west door on the north side. 

• Students leaving the Kwoon will leave through the door directly adjacent to the main west entrance  only when their parent/driver is present and able to escort them safely to their vehicle. 

To ensure maximum visibility and safety, no child will be leaving the Kwoon if there is anyone improperly parked in the parking lot. We will do our best to monitor that situation but we would also appreciate if everyone can contribute to the policing of the parking lot by politely and respectfully reminding each other where the designated parking areas are located.

This new procedure should improve the safety and efficiency of navigating the parking lot. We appreciate everyone’s support with this new approach.